From the publishers of THE HINDU VOL.31 :: NO.25 :: Jun. 21, 2008 • Contents
	EURO 2008 / BLOGWATCH It’s anarchy but refreshing As Euro 2008 heads into its climactic phase, bloggers and message-boarders are in fine form, as Karthik Krishnaswamy finds out. In a world of back pages saturated with ‘The important thing is winning; the goal was just a bonus’, and ‘The gaffer knows what’s best for the team, so I’m happy if I can make a difference coming off the bench’, the blogosphere provides a refreshing whiff of anarchy and political incorrectness. As Euro 2008 heads into its climactic phase, bloggers and message-boarders are in fine form. Can there be a major international tournament without England, or at least a tongue-in-cheek reference to its superstars? ‘Returnof50phead’ ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A37036154) comments: “I’ve been scouring the net and TV for England’s games in Euro 2008 but I can’t seem to find them? I can see Switzerland and Austria but I can’t see what group England are in! I want to see these great superstars like Wayne Rooney, Frank Lumpard (sic) and Stevie Gerrard sweep all before them like I’ve been hearing in the media.” Previewing Portugal’s opening game, Greg (http://portugal.worldcupblog.org/euro-2008/fired-up-friday-portugal-v-turkey-preview.html) suggests that Scolari’s men combine the tactics of dog fighting and punch-the-inflatable-toy-that-keeps-bouncing-back to beat Turkey. “The best way to deflate an energetic, fiery underdog is to hit it with a swift stomach punch in the opening stages.” The Portuguese instead employ the novel tactic of having centre-back Pepe roam the length of the pitch and play one-twos with the forwards. The French, on the other hand, seem a tad short on oomph during their 0-0 against Romania. The game leaves Laurie (http://france.worldcupblog.org/euro-2008/romania-france-what-we-learned-or-something.html) posing existential multiple-choice questions to unsuspecting passers-by. A sample: “Romania-France highlights” are: A. Available online B. The ultimate cure. for insomnia. C. An oxymoron. D. All of the above.” Ruud van Nistelrooy is usually on the edge of the high board, resplendent in his orange speedos, when defenders get too close. When he remains vertical after catching the lunging Gianluigi Buffon with his trailing foot, therefore, bewildered viewers are left pondering “who drained the pool?” Some even wonder if he’s given up the double back-flips forever. Not so ‘Parrygoon’ ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A37102114), who rushes to clarify that there is no truth in the rumours of the Dutch striker’s non-participation in the Men’s 10m Platform at the Beijing Olympics. “Having read several threads congratulating Van Nostrilboy (sic) for standing up when he could have conned a penalty out of the referee I feel obliged to defend his reputation. If you watch the Slo-Mo carefully it is clear that his studs catch in the turf and throw him into an upright position. You can see the look of surprise on his face as he touches the pitch with his finger-tips confirming he is the right way up. Van Nostrilboy has spent many years building his oops-a-daisy repertoire and would not deliberately damage his image in an international competition. Give the man a break...” Meanwhile, Riccardo (http://italy.worldcupblog.org/group-e/player-reviews-holland-3-italy-0.html) sympathises with Buffon over his lack of communication with defender Marco ‘Matrix’ Materazzi. “… Kind of hard to communicate with Matrix though. Guy still talks in grunts and snorts from the days of Homo Ergaster. Rumor has it the walls at his house in Milan are covered in cave drawings.” Rob Parker ( http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/2008/06/euro_2008_top_s_2.html#more) puts Dutch midfielder Orlando Engelaar in his avoid-in-dark-alleys list. “In the Holland-Italy match he looked like a 15-year-old ringer in an under 11s match.” Mike Cardillo (http://deadspin.com/5015386/hat-trick-for-spain) watches David Villa score the first of his three goals for Spain against Russia and describes in some detail the celebration that follows his first goal: “When Villa’s strike found the netting, he went immediately toward Torres and hugged him like it was going out of style. Not to get too graphic, but they were writhing around on the wet turf, locked in each other’s embrace like a newborn South American monkey clinging to its mother in the tree canopy.” Imagine Mike’s marsupial metaphors should someone named Joey break into the Socceroos squad and score a goal or two. On second thought, don’t. Having seen the Swiss concede a Turkish winner deep into injury time, Alan Black (http://kicktheballs.wordpress.com/2008/06/11/swiss-play-it-neutral-in-defeat/) dispassionately observes: “… The Swiss have a triangle of invention — Toblerone, cuckoo clocks and the Swiss Army knife. The latter is not designed to slit an enemy’s throat in the bazaar, by contrast it is designed to help mankind open a can of beans on a camping trip. The Swiss are helpful, you can hide your stash in a vault with no questions asked, and make a mockery of doom by having the notches of the passing hours sound like a cuckoo. But none of this helps in the winning of soccer games. That requires a knife used to slitting throats in the bazaar.” He somehow fails to mention that the Swiss defence might, like their cheese, be full of holes. Art ( http://www.blog.artlaflamme.com/?p=659) sums up Germany’s 2-1 defeat to Croatia succinctly: “The Germans just could not control the ball. Couldn’t trap it, couldn’t keep it, couldn’t pass it. They played like Americans.” Finally, a brave blogger bucks the trend of equating underperformance and technical ineptitude with England. Printer friendly page   Send this article to Friends by E-Mail Contents • Daily Sports • The Hindu • Business Line • Frontline • Publications • eBooks • Images Copyright © 2008 Sportstar Republication or redissemination of the contents of this screen are expressly prohibited without the written consent of Sportstar.